Did Someone Say Galumphing?

You have three characters:  Rico, the owner of a pizza parlor who wants everyone to think he’s involved with organized crime. Bertha, a girl who was always picked last for volleyball in high school and is now running a second-hand clothing store. Athelstane, a granite statue in the park who has consciousness.   Possible Plot Points:  –The ants in the park are planning an uprising. –Athelstane has no idea what pizza is. –There is a two carat diamond in the pocket of one of Bertha’s second hand dresses. –The tomato crop failed this year. –Rico’s neighborhood is changing, and everyone now wants jalapenos, chorizo, and tomatillos on their pizza. –The pages is too small to hold these guys, and Athelstane is planning an escape, but he needs help. –Hey, whatever you want!!