As Creative as a ….
I’m reading a Stephen King book, and I notice that one thing he does well is coming up with similes that do a great job of helping the reader get the flavor of what he’s describing. Let’s try some. I also thought it would be a challenge if we all try the same ones so it will push each of us a bit further to come up with something uniquely your own. Of course, knowing this group, I wouldn’t put it past any of you to put these all (or nearly all) into one story. Up for it? As cold as a… As mean as a… As blue as a… As bright as a… So tight it felt like a… So tired, I felt like … As sharp as a … The burning smelled like a… As funny as a …
Blog Soup
A big E Macaroni and cheese An annoying limp A woman named Red Hannah
Orlando’s Back!
For those of you who were part of the 920 writers group, you’ll be happy to hear that Orlando got in touch under the page called “Creative Writing” here. I’m sure he’d be happy to hear from some of his old (and hopefully a few new) friends. Encourage him to hang out here!
Language
I began collecting old grammar books when I wrote the Writing Essentials course. It was fun. I found the green one we used in high school circa 1963. Someone had thrown it in a dumpster. But one of my favorites is from 1891, called Maxwell’s English Grammar: Advanced Lessons. Who wouldn’t like a grammar book that has a chapter called, “The Economy of Attention”? Maxwell begins his preface with a quote from John Stuart Mill which reads as follows: Consider for a moment what grammar is. It is the most elementary part of logic. It is the beginning of the analysis of the thinking process. The principles and rules of grammar are the means by which the forms of language are made to correspond with the universal forms of thought. …. The structure of every sentence is a lesson in logic. It occurs to me that he is saying what we all have been practicing, that putting words onto the page is a way to understand and clarify our thoughts. Making sure that our sentences make sense, then, requires enough revision that logic emerges so we can share out thoughts. Grammar helps us make sure our “forms of language” communicate. Perhaps the best definition of grammar I’ve found comes from the out-of-print book, Pinckert’s Practical Grammar (published in 1986 and still available from Amazon’s used book sellers). He writes: In a sentence, all the words are related to each other; grammar is the attempt to explain the relationships. Part of the fun of writing, to me, is finding that the things I have discovered on my own, show up in books about writing. We are all writing to discover what works and what doesn’t. We are all turning ourselves inside out to probe what we honestly know and figure out how to express that. We stand on our heads to shake loose new ideas so we can put two and two together and enjoy the surprise when they equal 97. Is grammar dry? Perhaps not. Perhaps to consider how the words go together is one more way to peer into the gloom to find solid ground. Then, I’m guessing, we can let logic wrestle with our lurking love of chaos.
Contemplating Goodness
I often write for fun and because I really like to goof around, but the combination of Nelson Mandela’s death and the coming holiday season has me thinking about serious topics. There are many songs that I find inspiring, such as From a Distance by Julie Gold and also Soon Love Soon by Vienna Teng. There are short stories that mean a lot this time of year such as Gift of the Magi by O. Henry and of course, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. My sister wrote one that continues to inspire me called Onward: A Christmas Journey, and then there is a rather obscure but classic kid’s story called, The Mole Family’s Christmas. I’m sure you have your own favorites. So there’s our challenge. Whether it’s a poem, song, story, bit of family history, anecdote, or some creative nonfiction—share an inspiring piece to carry us into the holidays on a high note. While references to other inspiring stories are welcome, I hope to see your writing here.
Fill in the Blanks
It’s Friday. Max just got off work at the ____________. He’s on his way home, driving his ___________. Waiting at home for him is his ________, whose name is ____________. Halfway home he sees a ________ in the ditch, clearly having slid off the snowy blacktop. There is movement in the _________, so Max pulls over. “____________,”says Max. “I think I’d better ______________.” Too bad I won’t be able to meet __________ at the ____________.” __________ and ___________ and ___________.
Writers Write: Pap Versus Reality
There are many scenes that fall into the cliché, or what I call, the Readers Digest category because writers like to pretend they are evolved people who can rise above it all and see the profound meaning of life. I’d like to give an example of one of these and then the more realistic view. I invite you to post a pair of your own. Readers Digest Scene ~My husband squeezed my hand to encourage me in that last half hour of that glorious first childbirth. He looked like an angel in his blue gown, gazing at me with pure love in his brimming eyes. I rallied and pushed with all my might, just like the doctor told me to. It hurt, oh yes, it hurt, but they were pains of joy since I knew what came at the end. “I can do this,” I told my husband. “Just hold my hand.” What Really Happened ~I yanked my hand away from my husband’s grasp. “You’re hurting my hand!” I screamed at him. “Why don’t you climb up here and try to squeeze this boulder through your tenderest place?!” He licked his lips, mouth opening and closing, but no words came out. He looked like a demented guppie, and WHAT USE WAS THAT AT A TIME LIKE THIS! “On the next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can,” the doctor said. This was the guy who had a statue on his desk of a gowned physician holding a newborn upside down by the feet. Sadist. No wonder he had his face covered. He was probably smiling behind that mask or checking his cell phone beneath the sheet covering my knees. Shit. Here come the torture bands of pressure on my poor sore gut again. “AAAAAaaaaaaUUUUUuuuuuGGGGGhhhhhh!” I pushed with all my might. “And again.” “AAAAAaaaaaaUUUUUuuuuuGGGGGhhhhhh OW!” Okay, I’m done here. I’ve had it. Nope, I cannot do this. I’m outta here. “I see the baby’s head.” A baby’s head? Oh. Oh! Okay. I agree to stay for one more round. Well, maybe two. But that’s it.
What is the Writer’s Worst Torture?
I’ve used words for the writing process like “wrestling” and “struggle” and “doubt” but the good news about all those words is that we use them when we ARE writing. There are certainly worse tortures than those for writers. Can you tell the story of one of your worst moment of writing torture?
We Need to Write a TV Sitcom Pilot
I can’t help but think that together we could populate a TV sitcom that would be tons better than anything out there. I’ll give you some basics below and a few characters to get you going, but we need many more personalities to make our sitcom memorable. See what you can add: Location: A Workout Gym in a Small Town Characters: –Steve Lemming: A middle aged guy who mostly stands on the tread mill, drinking something out of a metal cup and gossiping about his years playing football for the Paducah Corn Poners. –Thelma Remarkable: A thirty-two year old meter maid just back from the Peace Corp where she worked on Pago Pago, teaching English and perfecting poi recipes for the American palette. She dreams of opening an ethnic fast food restaurant. Her cat, Emeril, has to pull a little kitty respirator around on a tiny trolley since he smoked for so many years. –Basil and Thorny: Sixteen-year-old schizophrenic Siamese twins, joined at the torso (two arms, four legs). One of their personalities has a bad crush on Thelma, but they’re not really sure which one. –Doc Fornoy: The gym owner and ex-physician (specialty in neurology) who was barred from practicing medicine because he kept trying to bring his patients to a state of perfect happiness with a continually adjusted array of medications. We need more characters. Who else hangs out at the gym? Ideas for episodes?
Your Favorite Words
I have many favorite words. I like the way they sound. Thwap. Burgle. Wiemaraner. Quartile. Grumpy. Bankrupt. Okefenokee. Fubar. Sinister. Tamarack. And that’s only a few. I’m sure you have many as well. Just for fun, close your eyes and copy down as many of your favorite words as you can think of. Have fun. Go for quantity. Open your eyes and edit your list so you end up with only ten favorite words. It’s galumphing time! Take your ten words and combine them into a brief story. It will be all your own.