Let’s Play Around with Symbols
Certain things are easy symbols. Thunderclouds suggest trouble ahead. A warm fire in the fireplace is welcoming. Five inch heels suggest an interest in hooking up. A rusty pickup truck signals a struggling farmer or rancher. A German Shepherd dog is trouble. A poodle is not serious. A waning moon means someone is failing. A tuxedo means wealth. Sunrise is hope. And so on. None of these associations is purely true, but when writers stick them into a story, they create an unconscious assumption on the reader’s part. Can you put these items into a story without using them to suggest their usual association? Thunderclouds Warm fire in fireplace Five-inch heels Rusty pickup truck German Shepherd Poodle Waning moon Tuxedo Sunrise
I’m Sure You Saw This Coming….
Sometimes I want to write more about John and Martha. They tax me; they are my white whale, having broken into my life and stolen every bus stop scene I ever wanted to write. If I want to describe true love and beauty, they creep into my mind and kick all the adjectives out. But the real problem is that they hate me. They feel manipulated. They have every right to feel that way. I’ve reprised them again in a story that takes twelve lessons of my online Writing Essentials course to tell. It was a way to keep myself entertained while I crafted lessons on such scintillating topics as punctuation, sentence writing, paragraphing, and word choices. In case you weren’t there for those lessons, Martha did shoot John, but only in the toe. He was cheating on her and drinking up the money she needed for their four children. She did time, but learned a trade while in the slammer—firefighting. So Martha is feeling smugly productive (first female firefighter in her town) but also annoyed with me for making her serve such a long sentence. (It was just one toe.) John has been trying to punch his way out of quite a few paragraphs since I wrote him as a drunk with a hapless girlfriend. That would be Bertie, who can’t stop ordering, “Just one more teensy glass of chardonnay,” giggle, giggle. The four kids are okay, but one by one they’re beginning to hit adolescence, so perhaps I’ll have to name them, figure out their true ages, and explore exactly how they are going to give their parents grief. John’s mother has been a real brick, taking care of the kids while Martha was in prison, so she may have to have something to say about what happens next to this struggling family. Then again, maybe you do too. (My apologies to Gullie who is now shoving her finger down her throat.)
Scars
I’m always looking for stories. Some people hate the fact that their body has been damaged by events. I happen to think scars are a way to capture a moment. Do you have any scars? How did you get them? What were you doing at the time? Was this an interesting point in your life? Show us.
Onward is Best!
Hello Friends and Writers! It’s coming up to holiday season, and this is the time of year I like to suggest that you look into purchasing a copy of “Onward is Best: A Christmas Journey.” This is a book written by my little sister, an artist, before she died. My other two sisters and I completed the writing for her, and my daughter did the layout and book design. It’s a treasure. You can find it at Neiman Marcus online if you search their book section. Here’s their blurb and thanks for looking into this. Zoom + Heirloom Limited Edition “Onward is Best: A Christmas Journey” Story Book “I really loved Onward is Best, A Christmas Journey— it’s a great story and the illustrations are amazing!” —Mary EngelbreitOnward is Best: A Christmas Journey is a fun adventure storybook to be read out loud. You will follow Dolly and her strange friends as they travel through magical lands, all hand crafted by the author, artist Sarah Jean Linquist. Started while she had cancer, Sarah spent over 6,000 hours on her dream project. Completed by her family as an act of love after she died, this beautiful, heirloom quality book is certain to become a new holiday tradition in your own family. Limited collector’s edition hardcover. Book design by Carrie Ehrfurth. Photography by Ian Wasserman. 100 pages. 12 1/4″W x 13 1/4″T x 3/4″D. Printed in the USA. more Heirloom Limited Edition “Onward is Best: A Christmas Journey” Story Book $35.00 NMF14_Z14GS Expected to ship no later than: 11/04/2013
Doubt
I know I wrote a whole lesson on this, but now I want to hear what you know, what you do, what you have discovered about dealing with the doubts that crop up. You know the ones. That story you wrote and loved suddenly appears to be pure, finger-down-the-throat, embarrassing garbage. Yes, I’m talking about major doubt, the kind that stops you from writing. We’ve been writing together for a long time now, and hopefully you feel comfortable enough to be completely honest. I’m sure you’ve had your moments. What did you do? How did everything turn out? Tell us about it.
TV Listings
When I click the word “Guide” on my TV remote, I get a list of what program is on each channel. The descriptions are limited to one sentence per program. Sometimes they list the actors, sometimes not. Sometimes you get the year made, sometimes not. The descriptions are surreal. Last night I encountered this: Six cheerleaders lost in the woods must battle a time traveler wielding a magic sledgehammer. 2010. So, of course, I thought of you all. Certainly we can do better than that. Please write up some real or fictitious TV listings for our entertainment.
Multiple Choice
Which of the following is true? a. My keyboard has teeth. b. I only know what I know. c. Somebody let the cat out, and it wasn’t me. d. Plots woven around beetles are often weak.
Stuck in the Wrong Body
The baby had been propped up on the porch swing in her first birthday dress. She scowled at the world, as if deciding to do exactly what she shouldn’t for her photograph. Her mother used the iPhone to take six pictures, but still the baby wouldn’t smile. She looked down at her pink dress and yanked on it. She blew a spit bubble. She kicked off one fringed white sock. She eyed the chains that held up the swing. The baby snorted inwardly. She loved her mom, but it was highly awkward to pretend to be an infant when in reality she was a thirty-two year old reincarnated circus aerialist who had broken her neck one year ago. Her stage name was Regina Glorina. Now she was known as Baby Wahwah, which was how her slightly older brother pronounced her new name: Wanda.
The Major and the Minor
One of my favorite themes is how so often life pairs the mundane with the horrific. ~Have you ever found yourself sharing a big laugh at a funeral where you were actually shattered by the loss? ~Have you ever had a life-changing injury/surgery/accident that hinged on the change of one tiny detail in your life? ~Have you ever seen something amazingly monumental but been distracted by a very minor detail? ~Have you ever fallen in love right when you were just about to dedicate yourself to a major cause? Tell us about your collision between life’s small details and a major experience.
Travel!
I am currently in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, hundreds of miles from home. We drove. No Interstates. We passed multiple scary chicken containment buildings in Minnesota with cheery signs that said “Farm Fresh Eggs!” It seemed clear that the signs should have read, “Regional Chicken Prison System for Forced Egg Production.” We saw Sitting Bull’s grave and found out his Sioux name is really Tatanka Iyotake. His grave was decorated with small treasures including rocks, feathers, and cigarettes. We passed on the deep fried shrimp burger and had hamburgers at Brenda’s Tumbleweed Café in a South Dakota town of 14 people. We used the ATM machine at the Milbank Bank and crossed the Missouri river on the Mobridge Bridge. One town proudly announced its slogan as “The place where two roads meet.” I can’t tell you about Yellowstone since it would involve me using too many vague adjectives like “stunning” and “amazing” which we all know tell the reader absolutely nothing. So I apologize for being AWOL from the blog. Nonetheless, I am inspired to seek your travel stories, of which I imagine you all have one or two. This is the spot!