This isn’t fodder for a story. It is an example of statements that make little sense taken together, but are somehow fun to read because they are so odd. It is my contention that you can’t write without meaning sneaking its way in. But we can try. Let’s see how much non-sense we can each generate, and whether some sense demands to wander in.
Mine:
I have a bit of dried apricot stuck in my teeth.
Yellow tablets want me to write on them.
Snow drips off my car in the garage.
Urgent messages keep arriving.
Borscht is a soup I dislike, though I’ve never eaten any.
Camels always seem to be smiling.
This time of night my fingers ache.
Yours?
53 Responses
A nice red wine helps
I don’t know where you cast your inhibitions but It’s awesome that you did.
cold leftover potato soup leaves a scummy feel in my mouth..
mergatroid armpit was his name
he had a dorsal fin
d’int know nuthin bout the oscar folks this year
it’s almost warm enough to dig out the sandals
the stupid bird didn’t know she had to keep the eggs warm
Mt. San Jacinto is beautiful when it has snow on it
Lando, I don’t think you really mean that
Shaddy, you’re delightfully goofy
meegie: the “d’int know nuthin…..” line is superb as well as the “enough to dig out the sandals”. Great lines.
Of course I didn’t mean what I wrote about the Oscars> It was intended as a joke which, evidently, went wrong. Sorry.
Lando, if you slipped a snide in sideways I missed it. I’m sorry, since I love a good snide.
Jeri
“if you don’t sit and watch the Oscar’s with me, I will never speak to you again.”
that’s what she told me last night.
This morning I wish that, next year, she meant what she says.
You’re so sweet, Lando. I can see through your macho musings.
Really, made soup out of leftover Mexican food…it was great!
Not only is your writing creative, but your cooking is too!!! Good for you.
Wish Ann would post a new challenge more often.
You made soup out of what?
Got the tickets?
I miss living in Carlsbad…my old bones don’t.
Hair turning white, can I really be pushing 80?
I’d like to have a cuppa with all of these interesting folks.
Need to write but my head’s not in a creative mode.
Thanks for this site, Ann
Dreamt about my twin brother last night.
Freezing my butt off today.
Sometimes retirement sucks.
Need spring real bad.
Old friends are dying.
Kids are a blessing.
Writing is hard work.
Winter is for reading.
Amen, G’pa….but we’re still on the right side of the grass.
Hello G-Pa, think that retirement, as everything else, sucks at one point in time. You will see that when spring arrives, it’s not that bad to be retired.
“Winter is for reading.” That’s about the only good thing about the impossible winter we’ve had!!
Winter is in how you play it As for me I have Carla, the white Russian from Singapore, who teaches me the value of cold vodka, the bearskin rug, a hot sauna, a roll in the snow, and other physical delights.
It depends on whether she’s wearing Depends.
Yesterday, I thought running seemed stupid yet today, I’m running laps around a track.
Too long pant legs get soaked when there’s slushy stuff in parking lots.
Pretty flowers from Walmart look lovely on my kitchen table.
A chicken, rice and pea casserole is a healthy meal.
I love our Weather Tech floor mats.
My husband’s t-shirts are chasing each other in the dryer.
I don’t feel guilty snacking when it’s dark.
My boss grits his teeth and that makes me really mad.
How can that woman and her grocery cart be in my way in every aisle?
Blue is the best color for the sky.
Supper is ready to go in the oven and Lon is eating a huge plateful of Ritz crackers and cheese.
Grasshopper ice cream drinks are fattening.
Birds don’t shiver in the winter.
A critical nature needs remodeling.
Vacations require packing.
T-shirts chasing each other….Brilliant Shaddy and by the way, that woman and her grocery cart has a twin who is always in front of me…Let’s OFF Them.
My dear Cheryl, witty and clever phrases. Just one observation on my part about Lon eating crackers and cheese before supper….
what’s wrong with that?
Now I’m perturbed with you too, Lando! 🙂
Ah, I’m getting it now. Maybe. The random that’s connected.
I lost my wedding ring on the beach.
You can’t fight in the war room!
Now I have plenty of time to read.
Random, yet connected.
Fun!
I’m really inhibited here, guys.
No one minds if you keep your clothes on.
More! More!
Excuse me sir, you’re parked on my child.
What time does the ocean close?
What time does your child enter the street?
The fun is in responding.
The ocean closes at the same as the mountains for it’s dangerous to be in either after dark.
Sense in Non-sense
She was a beautiful woman with a delicate smell of a new car.
I wonder who is more nervous on the first date; the girl or the boy.
Nothing to make a boy feel like a man as his first shave.
Sometimes I feel like a rabbit but move as a turtle.
The older I get the more I feel in love with my reclining chair.
I like Italian restaurants with red and white check board tablecloths, empty bottles of wine with melted candles on top and a bunch of breadsticks in a jar.
A good neighbor is that who doesn’t put his nose in our affairs but who let us put ours in his.
Considering that there are always exceptions, I wonder if there are eagles afraid of high or, monkeys that don’t like bananas or horses than don’t care to run.
Furniture protected and wrapped in plastic should be prohibited by law.
One of these days we are going to have People Stores where animals will be selling humans confined in cages.
There must be a correlation between the increasing number of dietitians on TV giving advise about weight control and the increasing number of obese people.
I love to have a window into your mind. Thanks for the peek, Lando.
Lando, I’m guessing that your recliner is not wrapped in plastic. Your quirky speaks to my quirky !
I have to pee but I’m too lazy to get up.
Take note of the time. It’s likely to happen tomorrow.
Hey Meggie, don’t be restrain by your inhibition whether with your clothes on or off.
You don’t want to see my reply to that one, Lando
Cheryl, whatever you have it most be contagious for it happens to me also.
Catheter
The coffee contains grounds that somehow get through the tiny screen we use to avoid the high cost of k-cups.
The FDA is cracking down on those who traffic in raw milk.
The electric broom is clogged with pet hair, but the battery is dead anyway.
The soda seeped through the paper cup and into the holder in the back seat of the Suburban.
The pancreas produces insulin.
The morning sunlight, generally welcome, makes evident the filth that coats the window.
There’s a slot in the center of the knob where you insert the metal key.
Tobor, the 8th man, dissolved his Serutan in Evian and decided it tasted like PARC.
Toothpaste has an expiration date, but the effects of using the product past that date have not been clinically established.
Sadly, The Record Club of America no longer offers twelve albums for just one cent.
According to a coworker, Orthodox Christians are often able to get a Christmas tree for free.
On a recent trip, the sign at the hotel breakfast stated that the eggs were from cage free grass fed chickens.
My wife has figured out how to make a fairly accurate facsimile of KFC coleslaw, and there’s none left.
I have a discharged Palm Tungsten E2 that has no cable, and it bothers me even though I have no plans to use it.
Will stainless steel appliances someday become the ‘avocado’ of this generation?
I like these, Gary. Everyday holds a shitload of interest if we only look for it. You looked and you found.
I used to take the Chicago elevated train to work. Near the top of the wall of every car was a row of ads measuring two feet long and one foot high. A poetry foundation had purchased ad space, so one of the “ads” was actually a poem. How great was that! My wish is that billboards all over the country would spout Beranski-isms, for us to enjoy as we drove by. Or remember Berma-Shave signs? (I bet you do!) Your first one could say “Hobbies for the Winter Hostage” with the rest naming your great list above. Ha! Maybe I should set up a foundation to sponsor free wit to be displayed in public places. You and other bloggees can be on the board. We’ll have bi-annual meetings somewhere warm and plan our sneak attacks.
Brilliant idea, Ann!
Do Avocado appliances go with granite counter tops? As is your custom, your observations are perfect.
Ann, I’m all in for the bi-annual meeting, especially some place warm. Of course I remember Berma Shave signs. I thought this WAS your foundation for the care and feeding of BWW graduates and other conically creative folks.
It’s 3:30 in the morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. This seems to be my new normal ever since the Polar Vortex invaded Northern Indiana several weeks ago. When there is so much snow and below zero wind chills, nothing can be done but stay in the house and sulk from room to room. Blizzards were eminently more fun when I was still drinking.
I have so many projects to complete for church that I am starting to consider converting to a less busy denomination like “Our Lady of the Perpetual Pot Luck Dinner.” As long as you can crank out a Tuna Surprise and a fancy Jello dish once or twice per week, you remain in good standing. There’s not a lot of memorizing Bible verses or being involved in any Missionary work. Just carry in a few dinners for a group feed and you are assured an entry ticket through the Pearly Gates of heaven.
I have developed a theory that people with hobbies survive winter induced confinement with better mental health. I envy those folks who have learned a skill to pass the time like: knitting, building realistic train layouts, gourmet cooking, scrap-booking or even collecting dust bunnies. I need to find a hobby to truly be a satisfied weather hostage…..How about….
Large format Origami
Wine Cork Art
Liturgical Tap Dancing
Investigating what killed the Dead Languages
Imaginary Astronomy
Wagon Wheel Chandelier Repair
Water Ballet for the elderly
Baiting Telemarketers
Developing a Spelunking Diorama in my freezer
Or maybe, just maybe, I could collect the strange but motivational writing prompts posted by my favorite lady of Letters, Lady Linquist.
Baiting telemarketers. I’m adopting that hobby. Sounds like something I could be quite good at. I can be quite nasty.
Peanut, this is really, really good and creative. The story is great and the lines are superb, specially the Investigating … and Imaginary. Congrats.
Peanut, this made me laugh for five minutes.
Your sense of humor draws me in every time I come here. Thanks so much for that.
I terrified my boss tonight, unintentionally.
Right now I am nibbling Asian fusion trail mix and drinking Scottish ale.
The winter seems particularly cold this year.
My cat is quite elderly, and so is my mother.
I’d really like a haircut.
I can see the number 188679.
A man on my television has very large ears!
Chewing gum seems attracted to my temporary crown.
Why do I love this? I don’t know. Perhaps it has something to do with the randomness we experience every day. We can be watching a traumatic news program about a school shooting, and then the commercial comes on and it’s about Viagra. The mind seeks order, and finding none, often tosses out possibilities.
Maureen, good lines, but the first one takes the cake.
I work in a dental office and also have all my own teeth (many of which have worn temporary crowns) so your last sentence tickles me. They’re all fun though.
Splendid list Maureen and you are correct, this winter has been extremely cold and long lived.